Pregnancy And Fertility – How to Bring Sexiness And Passion Back Into Baby Making and Becoming a Mom

Sexy, Passionate and Fertile?

Do you relate to any of these words? Are they even connected?

Before I started on that path of baby making, sexy and passionate didn’t seem to have much to do with fertility.

And then, with ever-increasing awareness of my cycles and making love at the ‘right time’, any thread of association that might have been there in my unconscious mind was quickly severed.

Quite the opposite unfolded as I continued to try to have a baby and experienced loss instead. Sexiness and passion drifted into a distant memory and all that mattered (in my mind) was reproduction. I wasn’t using the word reproduction. But that is what it boiled down to.

By the time I had my third miscarriage (Julianito), I was totally exhausted and completely depleted.

Trying To Get Pregnant

I decided that was it. I was never going to ‘try’ again.

I hated the energy of ‘trying’ because implicit in that was a dread of failure. And after much soul-searching, I declared to the Universe that if this is what it takes to be a mother then I was not available.

My vision has always been of sacred family in which everyone is thriving. And I found myself living the opposite.

I was not thriving.

I was trying.

Big difference.

And it wasn’t sexy let me tell you. Or passionate. But when I let the Universe know that I was done with trying and was checking out of ‘suffering with infertility’ land things began to shift.

Instead of feeling totally powerless I was changing the rules of the game.

What if my partner doesn’t want to be with me anymore? He was clearly made for fatherhood.

What if I am risking my last chances of having a baby? I was 37.

I didn’t care.

It could not continue the way I was. If the value and meaning of my life was to be determined by my ability to have a baby then I was getting off that train. I began listening to my feminine wisdom instead of the patriarchal ideas about what a woman ‘should’ be.

I was willing to take the risk.

And it worked. Everything changed once I claimed back my power and value just the way I was. I fell in love with life again. I feel in love with me. And not long after, I became pregnant naturally with my beautiful, healthy twin girls.

I wasn’t trying to have a baby but I knew immediately that this time was going to be different!

In a world that has been shaped by patriarchy and male values and understanding of how life works, we have forgotten about feminine wisdom and her essential role in success.